Understated Realizations #4

I always thought once the kiddos were grown, it would be the "our time" in our lives, but now that it's here, we continue to want to be there for our family.   

When asked to help with the grandkids the answer is always "yes, of course" as opposed to "We'll have to check my calendar", or "I suppose we can try to rearrange", or "well, if there is no one else".   It's "yes, of course.". We don't want to prioritize holidays, socializing, or hobbies over being there when we are needed.  

We DO have our own lives and take care of our needs, but being there for our grandchildren will always come first.  ❤️

Understated Realizations #3

When a child you love has a child you adore with all your heart, you understand just how grand being a grandparent truly is.    

Understated Realization #2

One day, every father picks their child up, carries them around, and without even realizing it, sets them down for the last time.

Understated Realization #1

For my children...   I don't have many wishes, but I do wish you win all the battles you keep to yourself. 

A Father of Five moves four of his five kids six times in one year.

 Yup, there are a lot of number words in that title...    "A Father of Five moves four of his five kids six times in one year."    Lets break that down a little bit..

"A Father of FIVE..."   - If you are reading this, you know why the word-number FIVE is here, and if you don't, I'll tell you.  I have five (now adult) children.   

"...moves FOUR of his five kids..." -- Four of our kiddos has recently moved.

"...SIX times..." -- Yes, I have helped my four of our five kids (amd pme extended family member) move six times times recently.  But is that six times over the course of 25 years?   10 years?  5 years?   Nope.   Keep reading.        

"...in ONE year."  -- Yes, folks, that's right.  As the Father of Five, I have now offically been "invited" (recruited?  voluntold? ) to help move four of  the five kids (and one extended family member) physically OUT of one apartment / house and back INTO a new apartment / house SIX TIMES IN ONE YEAR.  

Then, to add insult to injury, completly unplanned by the kids (or at least I hope it was unplanned) - two of the kids decided to move on the exact same day.  No, not just the same WEEKEND, but the EXACT SAME DAY!!   

Even better??  The morning move was to a second-story duplex.   The afternoon move was also to a second-story duplex.   

• August 2024 - #4 of 5
• October 2024 - #1 of 5
• February 2025 - #3 of 5
• June 2025 - Extended family.
• July 2025 - #4 of 5 again. (yes, on the same day as #2 of 5 below)
• July 2025 - #2 of 5 (yes, on the same day as #4 of 5 above)

For the record, for any future father (or fella who is even contemplating fatherhood) that happens to stumble upon this blog, do yourself a favor.   Before that kiddo is born, get it down in writing that you will have a "one-move-per-kid" limit and it is only valid until you turn FIFTY years old, and under NO circumstances will you EVER agree to multiple moves IN ONE DAY.   You (your aging sore muscles, and fatigued body) will thank yourself (and me, for the tip) one day.  

As Al Servik (played by Rodney Dangerfield in Caddyshack) once said *while rolling his eyes...  "Now I know why tigers eat their young."

Is it time?

Is it time to "transition"?   Maybe the "identity" is what is makes keeping up so challanging?   I am not certain.  So, let's give this a try.

Formanly Known as the Father of Five - Back to the Blog Because Life with Adult Kids is Still a "Bit of Chaos in Paradise".

Don't be afraid to let me know what you think.   

Lent 2025

Lent beings (for us Catholics) on Wednesday March 5th this year.   

In the past, (as all good Catholic boys do) - I make sacrifices.  Items I "give up" (and from time to time, items I "will do").  For the past umpteen or so years, I have given up soda, fast food, and the last couple of years, I have given up social media (lower case social media) - which, in reality, is (uppercase F) Facebook, (uppercase T) Twitter (or is it "X" now?).  

I actually find the break (break from sugar, fattening foods, and all things social about social media) a bit of a relief.  It's nice to take a break (even if it's just a 10%) away from these things.   Sometimes it's easier than other times - and sometimes I don't even notice.   

One thing I have noticed...  When I take a break from social media, the other apps on my phone get hit pretty hard.  Apps like Candy Crush, and Hill Climb Racing,..  

Well, this year, I think it's time to breath a little bit (a very little bit) of life back into Life as a Father of Five.   I will use my time AWAY (giving up) social media to attempt to spend a little more time being reflective, and being myself by (doing something for Lent) by getting back to my blogging roots.

Stay tuned.   Not sure how well this will work, but I am going to certainly give it a try.

Thanks! 

The end of an era?

It's been YEARS since I bought a compact disc, but today I pre-ordered what I suspect will likely be the last physical CD I will ever purchase. 

Nearly 38 years ago (1986) I purchased my FIRST compact disc (The Beatles, Revolver).  

Just as video killed the radio star, it's clear that digital music downloads killed physical media. (Although vinyl does seem to be having a niche resurgence).

   

Meaningful Update

In looking over the statistics of The Life of a Father of Five it was glaringly obvious that I have not made any sort of MEANINGFUL posts or updates to our lives in four (?), five (?), even six (?) years.   It's about time - and you are all due a little update - so buckle in.  Here we go.

The Father-of-Five.

The biggest change in came in January 2022 - when I made a tremendous leap of faith and completely changed my life's trajectory.  After 27 years in the same (high-stress - massive overtime) career with the same employer - I made the (difficult) decision that it was time to make a change. My career was "high profile" and I found myself identifying more and more with "what I did" than "who I was".  The stress and volume of hours I was working under had become "normal" to me.  I had fallen victim to the Boiling Frog Syndrome.  In the previous five years I had seen no less than five co-workers (and friends) succumb to significant medical problems (that could easily be traced back to our jobs) or die (quite unexpectedly, and way to early).  Once I started experiencing some medical matters of my own (that I could draw a correlation to my job) I knew the time was getting close and I began to search for "what comes next".  

I was offered and nearly accepted a position in the same industry, but more of a supporting role - but ultimately turned the offer down due to the length of the commute it would require. 

Then, a position within a different division of my company opened up.  I was qualified, knew the supervisor, and even had a background and interest in the subject matter (Maintenance).  I applied, interviewed, and ultimately offered this position.  

Due to the massive shortage in staffing (which has only worsened since I left) - I was asked to consider "part time" work for my previous division.  I have agreed - and work between two to eight shifts a month.  Just enough to keep connected to my previous coworkers (and friends) - and provide me a little taste (and reminder why I do not want to do it for 40-75 hours a week) of what was a TREMENDOUS part of who I was for over a quarter century. 

Now that I have a pretty regular schedule (M-F 7-3:30pm) - I am simply amazed at the number of activities and events I was never part of - and how much of my life (and the lives of my children) I missed out on.   

The Mother-of-five

The Mother-of-five has (over the years, and due to my work schedule) - changed positions several times - but has ultimately returned to a field and employer that has worked well for her in the past.  With my schedule FAR more regular - and the kids mostly grown and out of the house - it has been much easier to maintain a regular and un-interrupted position with the same employer.  

We are now experiencing life as parents with adult children.  No, not quite empty nesters yet - but we have a lot more free time to spend together - and we are learning how to adapt, adjust, and how to manage this next phase of our lives.  

Recently, we lost the "Mother of the Mother of Five".  The passing of my mother-in-law was as bittersweet as it can get.  She battled a significant health issue for several years before she returned home to our Heavenly Father.  

The Mother-of-five is still as beautiful (if not more so) to me as the day I met her.  I have never regretted my decision to join our lives together - nor would I change a moment of our lives together.  She remains my BETTER half - and love her beyond conveyance.  

#1 of 5

#1 of 5 is now in his 30's now.  He has a (wonderful) significant other, and they live about 45 minutes from home.  They are both hard workers (working long hours) - but both have similar interests that keep them very busy.  #1 of 5 recently returned to school in order to complete his post-secondary education - and just last week was "headhunted" by a business within the industry he is studying.  He interviewed and accepted an entry level position.  We are all very excited to see where and how far he will take this.   

#2 of 5

#2 of 5 (now in his upper 20's) completed college and earned a Bachelor's degree - which he quickly turned around and secured a position with the Federal Government.  He too has a (wonderful) significant other - and they also live about 45 minutes away.  #2 of 5 and his "significant other" decided to make things official - and now I get to call her my "future daughter-in-law".  They have a BIG EVENT planned for spring 2025 - and we are all looking forward to the event and what that means for our family (and hers)!

#3 of 5

#3 of 5 (also in his upper 20's) went on and studied in the trades.  He (like #1 of 5) was headhunted early by a business in his field of study - but eventually ended up with a different ("better") company.  He has been very successful, and I truly enjoy hearing the stories he has from his "adventures" at work.  

#3 of 5 also contributed a wonderful addition to our family.  He brought in a delightful and quite talented young lady that I now get to call my daughter-in-law!  They were married in 2023 and have purchased a house together - and live a whopping nine (9) whole minutes from our house.   

And, if it sounds like things couldn't get any better in the #3 of 5 category - I'll just add that our whole family is just waiting for news that we are going to be grand parents, aunts, uncles, and even great grandparents!  I anticipate an update from the expecting couple anytime in the next three weeks!!

Oh, and if you are wondering.... IT'S A BOY!!!

  

#4 of 5

#4 of 5 attended college (in state - but about 3 hours away) between 2019-2023, graduating in the spring of 2023.  While in college, #4 of 5 also met (and brought into our family) a wonderful significant other.  He is a quiet, but respectful young man - and I really like him.  

After graduating, #4 of 5 obtained a wonderful position in her field - and enjoyed her first full year working in field she studied.  Unfortunately, she came home one day (physically upset) and we learned that her position will not be extended a year due to budgetary limitations.  Shortly thereafter she buckled down - and with the support (and recommendation) of several of her co-workers and upper management - was able to locate another position which she starts next month!  We are all very excited to see where this new employment opportunity will take her! 

#4 of 5's significant other has been out of state completing a employment contract.   She has traveled to see him, and he has traveled home a few times as well.  We have been fortunate enough to see him from time to time throughout his time away.  We hope he will be home again by December of this year!

And, while #4 of 5 has been living at home since graduating - she will be leaving the nest very soon too.  She has signed a lease and will be moving into a new apartment (about 35 minutes away) within the next three weeks!       

#5 of 5

Last, but not least is #5 of 5.  #5 is currently living at home.  After high school she attended Community College and now Technical school studying dental sciences.  She (seems to) enjoy working at a local convivence store while putting herself through college.  She is also dating a very nice young man that both the Mother of Five and I like.  We anticipate seeing her graduate from her program of study next year - and look forward to seeing what comes next for her.

= = = = =

I have really enjoyed dipping back into this medium.  I have said it numerous times previous - but I really hope that I can continue this streak and spend a little more time here on "The Life of a Father of Five".   I guess time will tell how successful (or not) that prediction may be. 

Until next time...       

Moe the cat.

After a long and quite entertaining run, our cat Moe crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday. I would be lying if I said that I have not had a little "back and forth" moments with our last two cats - but as he aged and his health became a little more questionable, we made our peace. In the past few month(s), he and I have had several opportunities to sit together and enjoy one another's company. I thought that Moe (of all our cats) was going to be the one to hang on, and possibly even outlive me - mostly fueled by his often annoying personality. But alas, as with all things, Moe's time came. We made the difficult (but selfless) decision to help him cross the Rainbow Bridge. (Did I mention "difficult"?) In the end, due to work schedules, the Mother-of-five, #4 of 5, and #5 of 5 were with him in the end, and helped make his transition a little easier.

Thanks for all the memories Moe. May you rest in peace on the other side of the Rainbow Bridge.

Moe the cat

June 2009 - July 17 2024.

Two Years or Forty-Three Years?

I told myself I would actually write a BLOG post about this when I finally accomplished this task.  It will be a long one, but if you stick with it, I promise to have a reward for you at the end.

My problem is that I just can not decide what to call it.  

Do I call it "Two Years (to accomplish this task)"
or
Do I call it "Forty-Three Years (to accomplish this task)"?  

---

Way back in 2008 (when I called myself a "blogger") I posted about my childhood affinity for Dungeons and Dragons.  Yes, I was one of those  geeky and weird 1970's D&D kids.  Between my friends at home, my friends at school, and my cousins - Dungeons & Dragons made up a large portion of my late elementary, and middle school years.  As all 4th - 5th - and 6th grade boys that are into things like Dungeons and Dragons - I followed suit and picked up a copy of J.R.R. Tolkien's The Hobbit.  

It was one of the longest and more involved books I read up to that point and it took me a little longer than expected to complete it - but I did.  I read 100% of that book and I enjoyed it.  I really and truly ENJOYED it.  Sure, there were a couple of parts I had to push my way through, or that my interest waned a bit, but the honest truth of the matter is that I finished it, and I enjoyed it.

Not only did I enjoy it, but my group of school buds all loved it as well!

Permit me briefly sidetrack you for a little backstory before I continue on. 

I have spoken previously about my elementary and middle school years with great fondness.  I am proud to say I still stay in touch with many of the kids I went to school with still today - but like any classroom - there are always little "groups" and those groups typically did not mingle much. 

Back in those days I was not really athletic or popular by any stretch of the imagination - so I was not part of the "cool kids club".  I was not really a boundary pusher, or trouble maker, so I didn't really fit in with those guys either.  All that was left is what I considered the really smart fellas.  They were all very bright, and worked hard at school, and got good grades.  Well, I am grateful that despite not really falling into that category (smart, hard working, and earning good grades) - they still took me in.  Tim, Tom, Dan, and Jim.   Even today, when I think about these fellas, and I look at the things they have accomplished - I wonder how and why they accepted me as one of their own.

It wouldn't be a huge stretch of ANYONE's imagination that once my group of friends all finished The Hobbit, what came next was The Lord of the Ring Series.  

Not being one to stray too far, I also started (first of several) attempts to tackle the momentous undertaking (momentous for a 4th-6th grade "average student") of taking on the series.  

The Lord of the Ring Series.
- The Fellowship of the Ring
- The Two Towers
- The Return of the King 

Yup.  You read that right.  "The first of several."  At least twice (and perhaps even a third time - but my memory that far back gets a little hazy) during those years I tried to read the full series.  Heck, I tried (and failed) to read the FIRST BOOK (The Fellowship of the Ring).  But alas, try as I might, I just could not find the gumption to get through it.

My friends?  Oh, they all read it.  I have even since found out that one of my neighborhood friends read ALL FOUR books (The Hobbit, Fellowship, Two Towers, and Return of the King) SIX TIMES  between 7th and 12th grade!

Not only did they read it, they incorporated it into their lives.  We even had a get together (I don't recall if was a themed birthday or a Halloween party - but we all agreed to dress up as characters from The Lord of the Rings!  Yes, this is an actual photo of one of our parties.  What I remember most is that everyone had specific characters from the novels they dressed up as.  Me?  (having not actually read any of the LOTR books and too embarrassed to admit it...) dressed generically and went along with the group.

I tried once more in my early high school years, but again, could not find my way through the first book before giving it up.  I was defeated.  Forever to not be able to say I accomplished reading the Lord of the Ring series.  After 10th grade, the three W's took over (Work, Wheels, Women) - and not having completed the series was nothing but a distant embarrassment.  

Then in 2001, 2002, and 2003 - the Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings movie series came out.  I can't tell you why but other than watching The Fellowship of the Ring (and only because #3 of 5 wanted to watch it.)  I never did see The Two Towers or The Return of the King.  

But, my family was young and busy, and I was working a very stressful job.  

And... (to be honest) - I am a "read the novel before seeing the movie" kind of guy - so even back in the 2000's - when the movies came out and I had a "mild" desire to see them, I think I didn't - because in the back of my mind - watching the movie before reading the novel is cheating my imagination. 

---

Two years ago, my father in law asked for a copy of the trilogy for Christmas.  I picked him up a copy.  As I held the three-books-in-one-volume and sifted through the pages before giving it to him for Christmas - I started feeling the desire to accomplish what I set out to do as a young lad.  

I had (since this time) become a much more vivacious reader - and having picked up a kindle e-ink reader - my book reading had taken on a life of it's own.  The only problem is that Fantasy Fiction is not really my go-to genre anymore.  In fact, for the most part, I completely avoid it.  

Then, one day, my "Kindle bargain book" emails advertised a DEEP discount on a Kindle copy of The Lord of the Rings: One Volume Kindle Edition - normally $15.99 - FOR $1.99!  (Did I tell you how much I love Kindles for the free and discounted books??) 

So, on October 14th 2020 (During the height of the COVID-19 Pandemic) - I purchased a copy and uploaded it to my trusty Kindle.  Then, I again noticed how LONG this book (three long books in one VERY long book) was.  I left it on my "hopefully will read soon" folders - and went back to reading my regular diet.

Some time in 2021 - #3 of 5 (who I watched the first movie with) told me that he had completed the whole series of LOTR on audible (read to him) - while working and wanted to watch the movies again.  

It was the perfect storm.  My father in law had completed the novels, I had the novels in my kindle, #3 of 5 had completed the novels (by having them read to him books-on-tape style) - and now both my father in law and my son wanted to watch the movies together (and I was invited).

I asked if we could wait until I finished reading the books (see above about reading the novel before seeing the movie) - and I committed myself to ACTUALLY FINISHING THE BOOKS. 

November 21, 2021 I pulled the LOTR novel from my "future reading" folder to being front and center on my Kindle, and I started...

I found it MUCH easier to take on as an adult than I did as a youngster - but I'd be lying if I didnt admit to coming very close to throwing in the towel a couple of times.  But every time I thought about it, I thought back to a much younger me, and all the years that passed - and just kept at it.  Slow but sure.

For those fellow Kindle Readers out there, you know what I am talking about when I say "percentage of the book complete".  Kindles display a tiny prompt at the bottom of the page (that you can turn off if you want - but I like) - indicating how much of the book you have completed.  So, I just used that slowly growing percentage as a motivator to keep me going.     

TWO YEARS (and one day) from the day I started - I COMPLETED ALL THREE NOVELS! 

It's an accomplishment (at least in my book) to finally say I did it!  Almost one of those "bucket list" items that folks talk about.   I'm so happy I finished what I set out to do.  I enjoyed the books and wonder why I didn't do it sooner - and I'm glad to be moving on too!  After two solid years of reading the same genera - I am looking forward to something new again.  

So I'll ask again.  Should this blogpost be titled "Two Years" or "Forty-Three Years"?? 

What's next??  Stingray Afternoons: A memoir by Steve Rushin - an account of a boy growing up in the 1970's (like me) in my hometown.  Sort of a "Coming of Age" book.

Now, as promised - since you made it this far, the reward I promised...

Two links - both to lists of books I have read since 2012.   If you read this far, you are likely the voyeur that I imagine you to be and I suspect you will find some interest in these lists..  

My Kindle Reading List

My Goodreads account - reading list.

Thanks, and enjoy!  

A Small But Nostalgic Project

As a "nostalgic" sort of fella, I look back at my first job with great fondness. 

I spent almost nine years as an employee of a small, local family-owned hardware store. I look back at those years with great fondness. I made some great friends, and had some great times, and made some great memories in that hardware store! So, yes... From time to time (when I get particularly nostalgic), I scour the world-wide-webs for tchotchkes, trinkets, or bauble from the now extinct "Coast to Coast" hardware chain.

Recently,
I scored this little gem on eBay! 

(It's a large brass buckle featuring the  "Coast to Coast Total Hardware" logo )

When I first saw it, I envisioned making a small shadow box, or frame for it, and (proudly) displaying it in my garage to commemorate the almost 9 years as a Coast-to-Coast employee, reminding me of all the great friends and all the great memories I have from those wonderful years!

Update

I've been feeling sort of nostalgic for the days when blogging was in it's glory days - and I (along with several others) routinely kept up our blogs, and connected, and even got in touch with one another from time to time.  But, alas "time and tide stand still for no man", and my (along with several other) blogs from back in the heyday are riddle with cobwebs, or (as I recently discovered clicking through some of my old links), are dead and gone.  

So, I seriously doubt anyone checks in here anymore, but just in case they do, and since it has been (I don't even know) how long since I last updated where my life is at, allow me to bring y'all up to date...

The Mother of Five - We are still together.  I can't speak for her, but I am still madly, and deeply in love with this AMAZING woman!  28 years married (31 years together) - and still going strong.    

#1 of 5 - 33 years old.  No longer at home.  Livin' his best life! 
#2 of 5 - 25 years old.  No longer at home.  Recent college graduate (Bachelors degree!)
#3 of 4 - 24 years old.  No longer at home.  Working in the trades and a homeowner!  
#4 of 5 - 21 years old.  Away at college, but still calls our house home-base.
#5 of 5 - 17 years old.  Still living at home.  Senior year of high school starts soon!   

As you can see, of the "five", only two still call our house "home" - and of those two, one is really only "home" about half the year (or less?).  

I still call myself the Father of Five, but in all reality...
I feel more like the "Father of One And A Half". 

Life has a way of marching forward - ever changing.   I do miss the old times when the kids were... well... still kids - but I am also enjoying watching them as adults and navigating their own paths.  

It happened....

It finally happened.   After sixteen years of blogging (more like 15 or less, when you factor in the gaps) - but after sixteen years, I have finally hit the point that I have gone MORE THAN AN ENTIRE YEAR between posts. 

I am not going to lie.  That saddens me tremendously.  The Life of a Father of Five has been such a big part of my life.

Also, my "life as a father of five" has changed.  Kids have grown.  Moved out.  Away at college.   

My life is actually more like "The Life of a Father of One and a Half" at this point. 

Well, hopefully I'll see you all sooner than 17 months from now, but I can't make any promises...

FOF.   

The Story Behind My Tattoo

Well, this Father of Five just joined the “inked” club.  Yes, you heard that right.  I got my first tattoo last week, and here is the story how it came to fruition. 

---

Approximately seven years ago, #2 of 5 began “informing” us of his intention to get a tattoo when he turned 18 years old.  He was quite insistent that now that he was “of age” he would be doing this with our without our blessing.  He was so insistent that this takes place that neither The Mother of Five nor I were going to even try to stop it.  So much so that we asked ourselves why not get on board – and maybe have a little (dare I hope) influence on his decision of content and placement.  His plans were to actually get the tattoo on his birthday, so The Mother of Five and I eventually decided that this tattoo would be our birthday gift to him.

Shortly before his birthday we made a few phone calls.  (Who knew you needed to make appointments for tattoos?!?!)  Luckily, we found a local tattoo parlor that had walk-in availability.  The day arrived and we brought #2 of 5 to the shop where he explained what he wanted.  About an hour later he was proudly displaying his first tattoo.

For the record, this was his FIRST tattoo, and has since expressed that he like to make some changes – in the form of a cover up tattoo he has planned. 

I am told he is planning a much bigger “back piece”.  

That’s when it all started.

The kids all started asking me when he was going to get my first tattoo.  To appease the masses I told them that I would get a tattoo for my 50^th birthday.  Heck, fifty was far enough off, and since I had no real intention of getting a tattoo I fully expected (much like when I tell them to clean up their room, unload the dishwasher, or complete any one of the myriad of chores I ask them to complete from time to time) the kiddos would soon forget. 

But, they didn’t.

Over the next several years, the kids would periodically inquire (in an attempt to remind me?) if I figured out what my tattoo was going to be yet.  I’d think about it.  I would have fun with the kiddos talking about what I “could” do, and hear what they thought I should do.  As time went on the whole idea started appealing to me a little bit more and more.  But to be honest, I’d have to say I was having serious doubts that I would ever really go through with it.

A couple of more years go by, and #3 of 5 turned 18.  I am still getting the occasional questions about MY tattoo idea(s), but no mention of him wanting a tattoo.

Over the next four years I slowly march towards the big “50” and I continue to get “reminded” by the kids about my pledge to get a tattoo for my 50^th birthday.  When that magical day finally arrived, I was bombarded with reminders of my pledge.  I attempted to postpone the whole thing by saying I “just turned” fifty and that I "technically" had a whole year of being 50 years old. 

They bought it, sort of…

Then, the time came that #4 of 5 turned 18.  She, like her brother, came to us and told us that she had also planned to get a tattoo.  The Mother of Five and I discussed the matter, and decided we would take the same course of action we took with #2 of 5.  But with #4 of 5, the timing was really bad.  She was heavily involved in sports, was already accepted to college, her senior year was winding down, and she was busy planing, organizing, and actually startting college three hours from home.  This interfered with her plans, and we never got her a tattoo for her birthday.

Three months after school started, we had a TRAGIC LOSS in our family.  #4 of 5’s beloved cat Mimi passed away.  That’s when she decided to commit to her tattoo idea.  She was planning on a "kitty tattoo", but now with the passing of her cat, she modified her idea just a bit and went with a  “memorial tattoo” idea instead.  The Mother of Five and I told her we would give her tattoo as a Christmas gift. 

This time around, I knew better than to think I would be able to “walk in” some place for a tattoo.  Given her school breaks, and her availability when she was home – I knew I would have to pre-schedule a session for her.

I started doing some research which as it turned out, my research turned out to be pretty easy.  Since his first tattoo, #2 of 5 had gone out and gotten himself another tattoo.  His second design was a full upper arm piece - and much more elaborate than his original "birthday" tattoo.  In fact - this tattoo was a "two session" tattoo.   The first photo in the series was the first session.  The 2nd and 3rd photo shows the extended version of the tattoo after his second session (with added trees).  He mentioned how happy he was with the shop, and the work done.  Honestly - I really liked this tattoo, and how it looked.  The shop was local - and they had very positive reviews.           

But before committing to any shop, I wanted to actually see it in-person.  I found a niche of time on my way to work one day, so I left for work a little early and stopped into INKHEART TATTOO.  I walked in (admittedly feeling a little intimidated) and told the staff I was there to check out the shop, explaining what #4 of 5 was looking for in a tattoo.  We discussed some options. 

Satisfied with how #2 of 5's second tattoo turned out, the on-line reviews, and how friendly and helpful the staff was in-person -- I decided to schedule my #4 of 5's tattoo.

That's when it happened…  

Almost instinctually I asked…  “So, I have a question for you.  What would the possibility be of scheduling a back to back father / daughter tattoo session?”  The reception asked what I meant, and I briefly explained the story you just finished reading.  I explained my tattoo idea to her, and told her that if I didn’t do this now, I probability never would.  She said she thought it was a great idea, and had the perfect artist in mind.  She called Adam Petersen up to meet with me.  We talked for a few minutes about a couple ideas of what we were looking to do, I checked out some of his artwork, and we scheduled a date.  

When the day finally arrived we were both pretty excited (well, I know I was).  The Mother of Five, #4 of 5, #5 of 5, and myself all stopped for a quick bite to eat just down the road from the shop before heading in.  When we finally arrived at the shop, we met with Adam.  He showed us his designs.  #4 of 5 made one minor change to her initial drawing, but I absolutely LOVED what Adam had come up with for my tattoo!  Now, I was really getting excited! 

Within a few minutes Adam had #4 of 5 in his chair, and was explaining the process and what to expect from the process to her.  A few minutes later needle met skin.

#4 of 5 was a trooper.  She did not complain at all.  She sat very still, and allowed Adam to do his thing.  In no time at all he completed the tattoo.  She was delighted, and The Mother of Five and I were both very happy with the results.  Her tattoo surpassed what we expected.  It is the perfect “memorial” tattoo for Mimi and Adam did a fantastic job delivering it!  (Happy Birthday Sweetie!)

The time had come.  

After years of being asked, reminded, and even teased a little bit (I lost track of how many times I heard one of the kids say “Meh, I don’t believe he will actually do it”) it was time.  Talk was cheap, it was time to put up, or shut up.  Speak now or forever hold your peace.  Go big or go home. 

So, I hopped up in the chair, and let Adam do what he does best.

About half way through my two hour tattoo, the girls all left to do some shopping.  Throughout the tattooing I did my best to NOT look down at the work being done.  I really wanted to see it complete.  While Adam was working, a couple of other artists from the shop came over to watch him work.  We even had another client come over to watch after her tattoo was finished.  Everyone kept saying what a great looking tattoo it was.

About ten minutes before the work was complete, my head started feeling a little heavy and woozy.  (I was warned this may happen.)  Adam stopped to give me a little break, and while he did I may have “drifted off” a bit.  The staff at the shop brought me a little water and some hard candy – and before I knew it – I was ready to start up again. Approximately fifteen minutes later, I was asked to check out the tattoo in the mirror.

I was delighted!  I gave Adam a general idea of what I was looking for, that I wanted it black & white instead of color, and that I wanted it on my left arm.  From there, I gave him much of the artistic license.  I let him draw his own version of my idea.  I let him select what size he thought looked best on my arm (he still asked me for input and if I was ok with what he thought was best).  In general, I let him do what he does best.  The resulting tattoo exceeded my expectations – and I couldn’t be more delighted with the results!      

So, there it is folks. 

My tattoo, and the story of how I ended up with this (my first) tattoo at the ripe old age of fifty. 

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(If you stumbled upon this blogpost due to a search for information about InkHeart Tattoo in Chaska or about Adam Petersen the tattoo artist and you have any questions about either – be sure to click on the email link on the right sidebar.  I’d be happy to answer what I can.  For the record, this is an unsolicited endorsement.  I did not receive any compensation for my work here on The Life of a Father of Five.  This is just a reflection on my experiences.  My endorsement is totally voluntary and based on the positive experience I had with both.)    

A Heavenly Birthday

I have been using some "down time" lately, and working on, updating, and filling in some of the blanks and gaps I have in my ancestry research. It was while working on some research last night, I was reminded that today would have been my Pépère's 112th birthday.

For those who have not been lingering on The Life of a Father of Five very long, you may not know the story of the nick-names we used for our grandparents.

 We called our maternal grandparents Mémère and Pépère.

These are French / French-Canadian affectionate names for Grandmother and Grandfather. Their first grandchildren were my cousins Janice and Cindy. They live in northern Maine right on the Canadian Border where many people (including my Uncle's wife, and their mother) spoke a version of French Canadian as well as English.  Their children (my cousins) "J" and "C" started calling our grandparents Mémère and Pépère before I was born, and (at least for my sister and I) those affectionate terms seem to have stuck.  We used them throughout my grandparents lives.  I still refer to them by these terms more than 37 years after their passing.

Having lost my paternal grandfather at the age of five, my "Pep" (a shortened version of  Pépère) and I became very close.


In the photo to the right, is my Uncle "G" in the Navy Uniform, Pep in his University of Minnesota Police Officer's Class A Uniform, and my Uncle "D" in the Air Force uniform.

It was Uncle D who eventually moved to Maine, and who's kids started the somewhat unique nick-naming of my grandparents. (Well, unique to the Midwest were we don't see a lot of French Canadian culture.)

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Now that I am thinking about Pep, and seeing as it is his birthday - I want to give you a shout-out!  HAPPY 112th BIRTHDAY PEP!!  Thank you for all the years we had together here, and thank you for all the years you have looked out for me since.  I have never gone more than a few days without feeling your presence one way or another.

HAPPY 112th BIRTHDAY PEP!!
You have been, and will forever remain in my heart!!

(One of the Many) Tastes of my Childhood

It is commonly said that smells trigger memories of people, places, and things past.  I certainly can confirm this phenomenon, but I’d like to add (at least for me) that certain TASTES also trigger some of my oldest (and often fondest) memories.

Case in point…   Butter Rum Life Savers.

This year, on my annual road trip to duck hunting camp, I stopped to gas up and grab a bag of Wintergreen Lifesavers.  They are my “go-to” hard candy (especially when you know you are going to do some drinking and cigar smoking).  The convenience store I stopped at had a sale price if you bought two bags.  Not really needing TWO bags, I was going to pass - but out of the corner of my eye I noticed a different flavor (that I normally do not see) – Butter Rum.  On a whim (and a nostalgic impulse), I grabbed a bag of each and headed out.

I don’t eat them often (in fact, it’s been YEARS since I last had one) – but I find that when I pop one of those Butter Rum Lifesavers, I am immediately taken back to my youth.  As a very young child (around five or so years old) my dad would often take me with him while he was out running weekend errands.  

Not always, but just often enough to make it special, he would buy a roll of Butter Rum Life Savers. 

At that very young age Butter Rum Life Savers always made me feel so “grown up”.  Kids (as well as myself as a child) typically tend to steer towards the sweet and simple traditional “five flavors” (lemon, lime, orange, cherry, and pineapple).  On the other hand, Butter Rum seemed so…  I don’t know, sophisticated (?), adult (?), mature (?) - Or maybe a blend of all those things??  

I suspect another part of this is also about the name itself.   Butter RUM.   I knew rum was considered a “grown up drink”, so a candy flavored after a grown up drink must be… grown up.  

Finally, I can and will also confirm that the fond memories may also be taking me back to spending time with my dad.  I really liked hanging out with him while running weekend errands.  The surprise Butter Rums tapered off as I approached my early teens, but dad and I ran our weekend errands up until I started workin' for a livin' (which was frequently on the weekends since I worked in a local neighborhood hardware store).    

Butter rum is and will always be (to me) the flavor of innocence of youth, of hanging out and spending time with my dad, of getting to sit in the front seat of the car next to him (we used to be able to do that back in the day), of being only five years old yet feeling oh so “grown up”.  

It is a taste of so many fond memories of a much simpler time of life.

For the record…  My dad still does this to this day – but not with Butter Rum, and not with me but with my kiddos (and they will confirm).  I suspect that the taste of Butter SCOTCH will forever associated to their grandpa in the same way Butter RUM does for me.